I’d like to talk a bit about expectations today.
Expectations often get in the way of us doing what we want to be doing and living the lives that are most delightful to us.
Watch the video below or scroll down to read a short transcript.
Although they might give us pause for a while, we can do something about expectations – invariably, expectations are thoughts and beliefs rather than actual cast in stone conditions.
Here’s a few examples of the kind of expectations that get in my clients’ way when it comes to creating their new chapter.
I was talking to a prospective client recently and she was describing the expectations that she has on herself and where she should be at this particular point in her career.
This was driving her towards choosing jobs that may not suit her temperament or her meaning and purpose - but, would have the ‘right job title’ and the ‘right clout’.
She also talked about her ‘guessing’ expectations of her supportive husband – she was guessing that he expected her to earn more money at this point.
She was considering jobs that clearly didn’t float her boat on the basis that she wanted to meet her imagined expectation of her husband wanting her to earn more money.
Another client of mine is a woman who has had a leadership role with a great deal of status for a long time. She is very tempted by a job which is lower status from what she’s been doing.
It’s a really appealing job that is very in line with her ideal scenario but her expectation barrier is ‘what will other people think of me if I take this lower status job’?
That’s a barrier for her to overcome in creating a new experience that really serves her well and meets her criteria.
Another client that I’ve been talking to has been very motivated for nearly 30 years to meet the expectations of her employer. That’s been her main priority.
As she approaches 50, she’s realised that her own expectations of herself have changed and now, she wants to do work that’s more rewarding and satisfying.
She longs to feel more connection and purpose with what she’s doing. For the first time in her own career, she is prioritising her own expectations.
No doubt, if you’re thinking about a new chapter, expectations are playing some part in your thinking process.
To help you let go of your own expectations, I’ve got some questions for you to ask yourself.
Ask yourself the following:
1) Where do I want to be in the future, let’s say in the next 5 years? Let go of where other people want to see you.
2) What does my ideal future look like? What will I be doing? How will I be feeling?
3) What do I need to do to move closer in that direction?
Completely let go of judgements and expectations, both your own and other people’s. Think about what’s really true for you and what you desire for your new chapter.
I’d love to hear how you get on – come and share with me over on my Facebook page or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You can read more helpful articles like this over on my blog.